Whatever your opinion on New Year’s resolutions, we can all surely agree that making a promise to yourself to improve upon an aspect of your life is hardly a bad thing. However some of the most common resolutions go towards trying to get fitter, thinner and healthier or trying to learn a new skill. Very rarely is focusing on our sex lives one of the first things that comes to mind when we think of improvement, but improving this aspect of our lives could go towards bettering our physical, mental and emotional health. For that reason we’re taking a look at some of the New Year’s resolutions that you and your partner should be considering for 2017.
No matter how long you’ve been with your other half, many people will find it a little awkward to talk about preferences in the bedroom. This is either because of personal embarrassment, or because of fear of offending their partner. However, worrying that they will take offence at your requests for change is no way to live, and learning to talk about sex together is a great way to get to know each other at another level.
Make 2017 the year that you do exactly what you want in the bedroom, and not anything that you feel you should do. It’s easy to have outside influences, such as social media, films and the like interfere with how you act and dress for the bedroom but if this makes you uncomfortable then there’s no reason to do it at all. Any time you spend with your partner in the bedroom should be time that you feel comfortable and relaxed. Films in particular have had a big impact on how we believe we should act in the bedroom, but what you should be doing is what you want to be doing, nothing more.
Phones and other technological devices are a direct line to the outside world; exactly what you don’t want interfering when you’re trying to get some alone time with your partner. Make a rule to leave phones outside of the bedroom or to put them on airplane mode for an hour or two whilst you relax. There’s nothing less sexy than having your parents calling you when you’re, er, currently engaged.
Spontaneity is fun but having only spontaneous sex might mean you start not having much at all. After all, after a long day of work and tasks such as looking after children and preparing meals, curling up on the sofa with a good film sounds much more do-able than enticing your partner into the bedroom. If you wait for your partner to make a sudden move you might find that disappointment begins to set in before excitement does.
To avoid this, be pragmatic about it. If sex is important enough to your relationship that a lack thereof would make you both miserable, then schedule in a certain day of the week of time or the month when you will definitely be getting jiggy with it. Any spontaneity that then occurs can be considered a happy bonus. As Tracey Cox, sex expert and author of Hot Sex: How To Do It says, satisfying sex lives ‘take hard work and effort.’
Finally, being happy in the bedroom is more than just being physical. To make sure your private activities are as good as possible it’s important that you make plans to spend time together that are more than just a Netflix date. A walk on the beach, a drink in that new bar that just opened, or a special home-cooked meal that you spent time making together, are all special ways to show each other you care.
Have you made New Year’s bedroom resolutions with your loved one this year? Let us know in the comments.
Leigh is a writer for Sparkling Strawberry with a penchant for fancy dress and a love of all things lacy.
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